Hope for Healing: Survivors of sexual abuse speak out
There are more than 60 million people in the United States today who struggle with fear, depression, anger, poor self esteem, substance abuse or difficulty with close relationships as a result of childhood sexual abuse. Such abuse occurs when a child of any age is exploited by anyone older or more powerful than they are, involving anything from exposing them to pornographic materials to forcing them to watch or engage in sexual acts. Whether the incident happens over a period of years or is a single, isolated event, the effects can last a lifetime.
Jenny’s experience has haunted her for 15 years, though the assault ended in just minutes. After an argument with her father, Jenny was admitted to a pediatric psychiatric ward where a male patient entered her room, unnoticed by nurses, and raped her. Jenny’s attack, like 84 percent of those reported in the U.S., was by physical force alone and involved no weapon.
“Some people say they have an out-of-body experience,” Jenny said. “I was in there somewhere but couldn’t find a voice. It was like I was trying to leave my body but couldn’t.”
To this day, Jenny has difficulty with physical intimacy. Her physiological struggles are accompanied by feelings of guilt for not prosecuting the rapist. At the time, she was just 16 and overwhelmed by the process of police interviews and legal proceedings. She just wanted it all to end. Now she worries that she allowed the perpetrator to victimize others. Because 60 percent of rape victims don’t report to the police, 15 out of 16 rapists will never spend a single day in jail.
“I remember the officers saying that he’d probably done this before. It hit me later that I could have prevented him from victimizing someone else. Now I feel guilty because I didn’t.”
Rickie was sexually abused by her older sister for several years, beginning at age 6. Like other victims of incest, she has a strained relationship with other family members and struggles with mistrust, obsessive fear, and betrayal. She has attempted suicide and engages in self-mutilation, questions her sexuality and has lived a promiscuous lifestyle, which many female victims do in an effort to prove that they are in control of their sexuality. She seeks healing while serving as an interpreter for Spanish speakers who have been sexually abused or assaulted.
Anna has chosen not to prosecute her offender, a family friend who raped her for several years, beginning when she was just 11 years old. She still worries about protecting others from hurt and embarrassment. Twenty years after the event, she is stepping onto the path of healing. Many struggle with whether to report the abuse they experienced in their past. Reporting the incident, even years later, can prevent a predator from continuing to assault others. The National Sexual Assault Hotline offers free, confidential help, 24 hours a day at 800-656-HOPE. The local police or the prosecutor’s office can offer further information on the reporting process.
Parker, who was sexually abused by a male preschool director 30 years ago, feels largely unaffected by the abuse, but fears he has blocked out important details. Parker’s mother, who had carefully chosen what she thought would be a safe place for her young son, strives to tell others about the warning signs and reducing the risk of abuse. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), talking to children about sex in age-appropriate ways greatly reduces the risk of sexual assault, and encourages communication while strengthening and preparing children to make healthy relationship choices. Educating children to say no when they feel uncomfortable helps to protect them from dangerous situations. When in doubt, parents should trust their instincts, following up if something feels wrong.
Each of these people hope that in sharing their stories, others will find the strength to seek assistance. Counseling can help victims overcome the negative and false perceptions of themselves so they can move forward.
“Don’t struggle to remain the person you once were,” said Anna. “Instead, allow yourself to become new again, and celebrate in the stronger person you will be.”
All of the people in the article live and work in Holmes and Wayne counties, though their names and some details have been changed to protect their privacy. Next week will bring this series to a close by exploring how counseling can lead to healing for survivors of sexual abuse.
Sidebar
If you are experiencing or have experienced sexual abuse, here are resources you can trust.
Every Woman’s House
Hotline: 330-263-1020
Toll-free hotline: 800-686-1122
Mental Health Recovery Board of Wayne and Holmes Counties Crisis Team
Emergency number: 877-264-9029
RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network)
Hotline: 800-656-HOPE
Online hotline at http://www.rainn.org.
Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence
614-233-3301
Toll-free: 888-886-8388
http://www.oaesv.org/
If you suspect that a child you know is being sexually abused, an excellent resource can be found at http://tinyurl.com/childhoodabuse.
Jenny’s experience has haunted her for 15 years, though the assault ended in just minutes. After an argument with her father, Jenny was admitted to a pediatric psychiatric ward where a male patient entered her room, unnoticed by nurses, and raped her. Jenny’s attack, like 84 percent of those reported in the U.S., was by physical force alone and involved no weapon.
“Some people say they have an out-of-body experience,” Jenny said. “I was in there somewhere but couldn’t find a voice. It was like I was trying to leave my body but couldn’t.”
To this day, Jenny has difficulty with physical intimacy. Her physiological struggles are accompanied by feelings of guilt for not prosecuting the rapist. At the time, she was just 16 and overwhelmed by the process of police interviews and legal proceedings. She just wanted it all to end. Now she worries that she allowed the perpetrator to victimize others. Because 60 percent of rape victims don’t report to the police, 15 out of 16 rapists will never spend a single day in jail.
“I remember the officers saying that he’d probably done this before. It hit me later that I could have prevented him from victimizing someone else. Now I feel guilty because I didn’t.”
Rickie was sexually abused by her older sister for several years, beginning at age 6. Like other victims of incest, she has a strained relationship with other family members and struggles with mistrust, obsessive fear, and betrayal. She has attempted suicide and engages in self-mutilation, questions her sexuality and has lived a promiscuous lifestyle, which many female victims do in an effort to prove that they are in control of their sexuality. She seeks healing while serving as an interpreter for Spanish speakers who have been sexually abused or assaulted.
Anna has chosen not to prosecute her offender, a family friend who raped her for several years, beginning when she was just 11 years old. She still worries about protecting others from hurt and embarrassment. Twenty years after the event, she is stepping onto the path of healing. Many struggle with whether to report the abuse they experienced in their past. Reporting the incident, even years later, can prevent a predator from continuing to assault others. The National Sexual Assault Hotline offers free, confidential help, 24 hours a day at 800-656-HOPE. The local police or the prosecutor’s office can offer further information on the reporting process.
Parker, who was sexually abused by a male preschool director 30 years ago, feels largely unaffected by the abuse, but fears he has blocked out important details. Parker’s mother, who had carefully chosen what she thought would be a safe place for her young son, strives to tell others about the warning signs and reducing the risk of abuse. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), talking to children about sex in age-appropriate ways greatly reduces the risk of sexual assault, and encourages communication while strengthening and preparing children to make healthy relationship choices. Educating children to say no when they feel uncomfortable helps to protect them from dangerous situations. When in doubt, parents should trust their instincts, following up if something feels wrong.
Each of these people hope that in sharing their stories, others will find the strength to seek assistance. Counseling can help victims overcome the negative and false perceptions of themselves so they can move forward.
“Don’t struggle to remain the person you once were,” said Anna. “Instead, allow yourself to become new again, and celebrate in the stronger person you will be.”
All of the people in the article live and work in Holmes and Wayne counties, though their names and some details have been changed to protect their privacy. Next week will bring this series to a close by exploring how counseling can lead to healing for survivors of sexual abuse.
Sidebar
If you are experiencing or have experienced sexual abuse, here are resources you can trust.
Every Woman’s House
Hotline: 330-263-1020
Toll-free hotline: 800-686-1122
Mental Health Recovery Board of Wayne and Holmes Counties Crisis Team
Emergency number: 877-264-9029
RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network)
Hotline: 800-656-HOPE
Online hotline at http://www.rainn.org.
Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence
614-233-3301
Toll-free: 888-886-8388
http://www.oaesv.org/
If you suspect that a child you know is being sexually abused, an excellent resource can be found at http://tinyurl.com/childhoodabuse.
Published: April 28, 2011
