Re-Defining Friendships
Life keeps changing, and my friendships keep changing. I guess that shouldn’t surprise me, but sometimes it still does. It seems the older I get, the more I cherish the friends that I have in my life. Maybe it’s because I know how special they are, or maybe it’s because I realize that life is short, and the time we have together is precious.
I have been blessed to have some amazing friends in my life. But at each stage of my life, my friendships were unique.
As a little girl, my friendships were defined by pigtails, swing sets and playground popularity.
As a teenager, my friendships were defined by sleepovers, the number of notes we could pass in study hall and hours spent shopping at the mall.
In college, I grew up a little and realized that some of my friends were taking more than they were giving, and that I was naïve enough to allow that to happen. So I left a few friends behind as I journeyed ahead into adulthood.
Then I got married, and my best friend became my husband.
As a young mom, my friendships were defined by play dates, pacifiers and potty training. The lack of sleep and overload of Cheerios made me seek out other moms struggling to keep it all together. Most of my friends had children the same ages as my children, and we hung out at McDonald’s playland, parks, and used clothing stores.
And now that I am, well, middle-aged, I am re-defining the friendships in my life yet again.
Last weekend, we spent a glorious afternoon celebrating Labor Day with friends grilling out, playing games, and laughing more than should be allowed by law. And I was struck by how much my life has changed over the last 42 years, and how much my friendships have grown up.
After the food was gone and the kids were in bed, we began to play the dictionary game. If you have never played the dictionary game, let me just say that it is one of the best, and all you need is, well, a dictionary and a great sense of humor. One person looks up a word no one knows the definition for. Then you each write down a fake definition that sounds real, or real funny at least. Then the leader writes down the real definition, and then reads all the submissions anonymously. Everyone then tries to decide what the real definition is, and everybody has a vote.
Oh, there are points for guessing the right definition, and points when people choose your fake definition as the real one. But the best definitions didn’t score any points at all because those were the ones that were so funny they made you fall out of your chair while laughing.
Some of the words we learned that night were sippet, larum, jaconet, blancmange, and whydah. Though I could share their definitions, they really don’t matter. What matters most is the laughter you share with the ones you love the most- your friends.
So I am once again re-defining the friendships in my life, and I have a brand new qualification.
Friendship: noun. A person who cares about you; shares your life experiences, and is able to laugh out loud at the ordinary moments of life.
And you don’t even need a dictionary for that definition.
I have been blessed to have some amazing friends in my life. But at each stage of my life, my friendships were unique.
As a little girl, my friendships were defined by pigtails, swing sets and playground popularity.
As a teenager, my friendships were defined by sleepovers, the number of notes we could pass in study hall and hours spent shopping at the mall.
In college, I grew up a little and realized that some of my friends were taking more than they were giving, and that I was naïve enough to allow that to happen. So I left a few friends behind as I journeyed ahead into adulthood.
Then I got married, and my best friend became my husband.
As a young mom, my friendships were defined by play dates, pacifiers and potty training. The lack of sleep and overload of Cheerios made me seek out other moms struggling to keep it all together. Most of my friends had children the same ages as my children, and we hung out at McDonald’s playland, parks, and used clothing stores.
And now that I am, well, middle-aged, I am re-defining the friendships in my life yet again.
Last weekend, we spent a glorious afternoon celebrating Labor Day with friends grilling out, playing games, and laughing more than should be allowed by law. And I was struck by how much my life has changed over the last 42 years, and how much my friendships have grown up.
After the food was gone and the kids were in bed, we began to play the dictionary game. If you have never played the dictionary game, let me just say that it is one of the best, and all you need is, well, a dictionary and a great sense of humor. One person looks up a word no one knows the definition for. Then you each write down a fake definition that sounds real, or real funny at least. Then the leader writes down the real definition, and then reads all the submissions anonymously. Everyone then tries to decide what the real definition is, and everybody has a vote.
Oh, there are points for guessing the right definition, and points when people choose your fake definition as the real one. But the best definitions didn’t score any points at all because those were the ones that were so funny they made you fall out of your chair while laughing.
Some of the words we learned that night were sippet, larum, jaconet, blancmange, and whydah. Though I could share their definitions, they really don’t matter. What matters most is the laughter you share with the ones you love the most- your friends.
So I am once again re-defining the friendships in my life, and I have a brand new qualification.
Friendship: noun. A person who cares about you; shares your life experiences, and is able to laugh out loud at the ordinary moments of life.
And you don’t even need a dictionary for that definition.
Published: September 6, 2011
